Author Archive

Rajnikant’s deadly dialogues

Rajanikanth makes onions cry
Rajanikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death
can process them.
Rajanikanth can build a snowman….. out of rain.
Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Rajanikanth can drown a fish.
When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on, he turns the
dark off.
When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even
glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards.
Rajanikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.
Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped
people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to
Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Rajanikanth’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one
fools Rajanikanth.
Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the
cobra died.
Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.
Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to
spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around
awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs.
Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned
the sun up.
Rajanikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human lifeā€¦ unless it gets in
his way.
It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by
yelling, “Bang!”
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to
kill you, including the room itself.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there
is Rajanikanth.
Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about
his drinking habit.
The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth,
the result is death.
When you say “no one’s perfect”, Rajanikanth takes this as a personal
Outer space exists because its afraid to be on the same planet with
Rajnikanth has counted to infinity–twice.
Rajnikanth doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikanth kicked
one of the corners off.
Rajnikanth once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajnikanth, there is
no other way!
Rajnikanth can eat just one Lay’s potato chip.
Rajnikanth can slam a revolving door.
When Rajnikanth falls in water, Rajnikanth doesn’t get wet. Water gets
Rajnikanth can divide by zero.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Rajnikanth has been
there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
Rajnikanth is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
Rajnikanth ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Rajnikanth frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Rajnikanth’s tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what
beats all 3 at the same time?
Answer: Rajnikanth
If you want a list of Rajnikanth’s enemies, just check the extinct species
Most people put their pants on one leg at a time, Rajnikanth does both legs
at once.
Rajnikanth does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word,
Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.
Music listens to Rajnikanth.
There are two kinds of people in this world:
1) those who are dead
2) those who have yet to meet Rajnikanth